## The cost of growing up online Growing up in a world saturated with smartphones and social media has a measurable psychological cost for today’s youth. Jonathan Haidt’s book *The Anxious Generation* argues that constant connectivity has reshaped how young people develop, relate to others, and cope with everyday stress. ## Core idea of the book Haidt’s main claim is that ubiquitous digital technology has fundamentally “rewired” an entire generation. He focuses on how online life displaces real‑world experience, pushing kids toward screens at the expense of independent play, in‑person friendship, and unstructured exploration. > “The cost of growing up online” is not just about screen time; it is about what disappears from childhood when online life becomes the default setting. ## Two intertwined crises The book highlights two parallel crises that together fuel rising anxiety among young people. - **Digital under‑parenting**: children receive near‑unlimited, unsupervised access to smartphones, apps, and social platforms long before they are emotionally ready. - **Real‑world over‑parenting**: at the same time, adults try to eliminate almost every real‑world risk, restricting independence, free play, and chances to learn from mistakes. This combination produces kids who are constantly online yet less prepared for ordinary setbacks and challenges in offline life. ## Mental health and behavior Haidt connects these trends with a marked increase in mental health difficulties among adolescents. He describes addiction‑like patterns of phone and social media use, alongside higher rates of anxiety, depression, and a general sense of fragility. Young people struggle more with boredom, uncertainty, and social comparison because the online environment continually stimulates and evaluates them. The result is a cohort that often feels overwhelmed in situations previous generations treated as normal developmental hurdles. ## Gender differences The book also emphasizes a striking gender divide in how this crisis plays out. - Many young women face especially severe mental health problems, including sharp rises in anxiety and depressive symptoms. - Many young men are falling behind academically, attending college less, and missing key social skills that come from in‑person interaction and risk‑taking. In short, girls are more likely to sink into despair, while boys are more likely to disengage and underperform. ## Gates’s perspective on the book Bill Gates describes *The Anxious Generation* as an important read for anyone raising, teaching, or working with young people. He values the way the book separates the problem into distinct but related issues—how kids use technology and how adults limit their real‑world autonomy. For Gates, the book’s arguments resonate with broader concerns about how modern tech shapes attention, resilience, and the ability to handle real‑life problems. He sees it less as a rejection of technology and more as a call to use it more thoughtfully in children’s lives. ## Why this matters now Haidt’s analysis arrives at a time when smartphones reach children at ever‑younger ages. As online platforms compete aggressively for attention, families and schools must decide how to set boundaries that support healthy development rather than constant distraction. The book invites adults to reconsider norms around kids’ digital access and to revive opportunities for offline play, independence, and face‑to‑face relationships. In doing so, it frames youth anxiety not as a mysterious epidemic but as a foreseeable outcome of rapid cultural and technological change. *** *Author’s summary: A thoughtful, critical look at how early, unrestrained immersion in phones and social media, combined with risk‑averse parenting, is reshaping youth mental health and development.*

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gatesnotes.com — 2025-11-28