Dear Annie: Mom is ‘sick to her stomach’ since seeing ‘just the kids’ group chat

“Do not tell Mom, she will overreact like always.”

My youngest complained that I “make everything a big emotional thing.”

Group chat discovery

The mother accidentally came across a “just the kids” group chat that her children had created without her knowledge. In this chat, she saw messages that made her feel physically sick and deeply hurt. One of the key lines that stuck with her was, “Do not tell Mom, she will overreact like always.”

Emotional reaction

Reading these words, the mother felt shocked, betrayed and misunderstood by her children. She had always believed that her emotional involvement came from a place of love and concern. However, seeing her youngest say that she tends to “make everything a big emotional thing” forced her to question how her behavior is perceived at home.

Family dynamics

The chat suggested that the children see their mother as someone who is too intense or dramatic about issues they consider minor. This contrast between her intentions and their perception created a painful emotional gap. It left her wondering how to repair trust and communicate with them without reinforcing the “overreacting” label.

Inner conflict

On one hand, the mother wants to protect her children and stay engaged in their lives. On the other hand, the harsh words in the chat make her feel like pulling back to avoid further hurt. She feels stuck between her natural emotional style and the fear of driving her children further away.

Possible next steps

Reflect calmly on what she read before confronting anyone.
Consider talking individually with each child in a non-accusatory way.
Acknowledge their feelings about her emotional reactions while explaining her intentions.
Seek guidance, such as advice from a columnist like Annie or from a family counselor, on how to adjust communication patterns.

Author’s summary: A mother, shaken by a secret “just the kids” chat where she’s called an overreactor, struggles with hurt feelings and how to rebuild honest, less emotional communication with her children.

NJ.com — 2025-12-01